The Morning After
Jun 27, 2001
With the last of the ice packs applied, the tears no longer flowing and the accusing stares no only glances, I now have a quiet moment. Oh yes, the legal fees and fines are all paid, too.
Yesterday was the release of Mountain Soul, as we all know and I, as everyone else, went out to purchase my copy of this fine album.
I decided a change of tactics was needed this time, after the last fiasco. So, being the good mom I am, I bribed my eldest. What was his price for helping mom secure two copies of this album? The answer was easy…baseball cards.
We reached our first and what we thought was our only destination for the album. There were several people standing outside with us as we waited and finalized the plans. One particular woman was very interested in our discussion, which I observed right away. Giving my co-hort the secret signal, as the doors opened, he gave the woman two quick elbow shots, and took off running. To further slow down the woman, I accidentally stepped on her which elicited more than a moan. My gosh, what language!!!
I was walking at a quick pace to the record department when I noticed my partner caressing packs of baseball cards. HEY, NO CARDS TILL YOU GET MY COPIES!!! MOVE YOUR A**!!! He started to snivel, but with a menacing glare he stopped and ran to the record department.
When I arrived, my little buddy was standing there looking panicked and staring at an empty bin, there was no Mountain Soul CD. With a guttural wail, I dropped to my knees and screamed, BUT I HAVE A CHARGE CARD FOR YOUR STORE!!!! Soon a strange looking person arrived, much to my surprise it was an actual employee, and they were trapped, they had to help. The frightened employee told me that the shipment had not arrived, that it would be there tomorrow, even though the ad said today. With my finely honed un-catlike reflexes, I staggered to my feet panting heavily clutching my chest. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DID NOT ARRIVE?! The employee, unlocked his knees long enough to run like a woman, screaming, ‘she’s back! Take cover!’ Soon men in red shirts with radio are descending on my boy and me, pouncing on us and wrestling us to the ground. The picked us up and carried us to the front door screaming into the radio’s that the situation was under control. In a moment that brought a tear to my eye, my son, showing a strong family trait, bit the hand of one of his captors and snatched several packs of cards from the shelf.
Once again I was tossed unceremoniously out the front door on my [b]ass, and told not to come back till the next release. My son feeling shame and humiliation glared at me in an accusing way, which soon faded when he found a Ken Griffey, Jr. card in the pack. We picked ourselves up, and walked to the urban assault vehicle to go to our back up store.
We arrived at our next destination with a slight revision to our plan, I had to promise to control myself. Walking into the front door, we calmly strolled to the record department, and controlling my convulsive shakes, I saw the empty slot where Mountain Soul was supposed to be. No wailing or crying came forth, for I had no charge card for this store. Kicking and old woman on a walker out of the way, I sauntered over to an employee that was bending over pulling stock out of a box. Once the loud crashing sound and cursing was over, I asked for what was rightfully mine, two copies of Mountain Soul. Eyeing the old woman on the floor, she went to help her, and I grabbed her arm telling her that the old woman can manage, get my CD’S. Fear flashed across her face and she ran to the back screaming something about she’s here, she’s here. I walked back to my son, and told him I would be just down the aisle, searching for that elusive CD, Tom Jones Greatest Hits, and to let me know when she gets back.
Lost in my search I heard muffled voices from the other aisle, I heard the words Mountain Soul, and thank you, in a slightly high pitched voice. Fear exploded like lightening, thru every fiber of my being. Someone was taking my CD’S!! I climbed over the shelving unit to the other side, and with no thought to my health and safety, delivered a massive elbow smash to the person below stealing my CD’s. Picking myself up with CD’s in hand, victory was mine, at last. Looking down at my son, the unintended victim of my elbow smash, as he lay on the floor, I calmly asked how many packs of cards this was going to cost. Once he quit crying, and Lord did he cry, I told him it was an accident, but nooooooooooo he would not believe that. Anyway, I bought the big baby 5 packs of cards, which cost more than a FRIGGEN CD!!!
So, he has begun speaking to me somewhat, things like get me a glass of water, pick up my clothes and if you don’t I will tell dad what you did. In between all of that, I have greatly enjoyed this album, and it was well worth the effort once again.
Well, I gotta go; my son says there is some old woman with a walker wanting to talk to me outside…I wonder??...Nah, it couldn’t be her.
Jun 27, 2001
With the last of the ice packs applied, the tears no longer flowing and the accusing stares no only glances, I now have a quiet moment. Oh yes, the legal fees and fines are all paid, too.
Yesterday was the release of Mountain Soul, as we all know and I, as everyone else, went out to purchase my copy of this fine album.
I decided a change of tactics was needed this time, after the last fiasco. So, being the good mom I am, I bribed my eldest. What was his price for helping mom secure two copies of this album? The answer was easy…baseball cards.
We reached our first and what we thought was our only destination for the album. There were several people standing outside with us as we waited and finalized the plans. One particular woman was very interested in our discussion, which I observed right away. Giving my co-hort the secret signal, as the doors opened, he gave the woman two quick elbow shots, and took off running. To further slow down the woman, I accidentally stepped on her which elicited more than a moan. My gosh, what language!!!
I was walking at a quick pace to the record department when I noticed my partner caressing packs of baseball cards. HEY, NO CARDS TILL YOU GET MY COPIES!!! MOVE YOUR A**!!! He started to snivel, but with a menacing glare he stopped and ran to the record department.
When I arrived, my little buddy was standing there looking panicked and staring at an empty bin, there was no Mountain Soul CD. With a guttural wail, I dropped to my knees and screamed, BUT I HAVE A CHARGE CARD FOR YOUR STORE!!!! Soon a strange looking person arrived, much to my surprise it was an actual employee, and they were trapped, they had to help. The frightened employee told me that the shipment had not arrived, that it would be there tomorrow, even though the ad said today. With my finely honed un-catlike reflexes, I staggered to my feet panting heavily clutching my chest. WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT DID NOT ARRIVE?! The employee, unlocked his knees long enough to run like a woman, screaming, ‘she’s back! Take cover!’ Soon men in red shirts with radio are descending on my boy and me, pouncing on us and wrestling us to the ground. The picked us up and carried us to the front door screaming into the radio’s that the situation was under control. In a moment that brought a tear to my eye, my son, showing a strong family trait, bit the hand of one of his captors and snatched several packs of cards from the shelf.
Once again I was tossed unceremoniously out the front door on my [b]ass, and told not to come back till the next release. My son feeling shame and humiliation glared at me in an accusing way, which soon faded when he found a Ken Griffey, Jr. card in the pack. We picked ourselves up, and walked to the urban assault vehicle to go to our back up store.
We arrived at our next destination with a slight revision to our plan, I had to promise to control myself. Walking into the front door, we calmly strolled to the record department, and controlling my convulsive shakes, I saw the empty slot where Mountain Soul was supposed to be. No wailing or crying came forth, for I had no charge card for this store. Kicking and old woman on a walker out of the way, I sauntered over to an employee that was bending over pulling stock out of a box. Once the loud crashing sound and cursing was over, I asked for what was rightfully mine, two copies of Mountain Soul. Eyeing the old woman on the floor, she went to help her, and I grabbed her arm telling her that the old woman can manage, get my CD’S. Fear flashed across her face and she ran to the back screaming something about she’s here, she’s here. I walked back to my son, and told him I would be just down the aisle, searching for that elusive CD, Tom Jones Greatest Hits, and to let me know when she gets back.
Lost in my search I heard muffled voices from the other aisle, I heard the words Mountain Soul, and thank you, in a slightly high pitched voice. Fear exploded like lightening, thru every fiber of my being. Someone was taking my CD’S!! I climbed over the shelving unit to the other side, and with no thought to my health and safety, delivered a massive elbow smash to the person below stealing my CD’s. Picking myself up with CD’s in hand, victory was mine, at last. Looking down at my son, the unintended victim of my elbow smash, as he lay on the floor, I calmly asked how many packs of cards this was going to cost. Once he quit crying, and Lord did he cry, I told him it was an accident, but nooooooooooo he would not believe that. Anyway, I bought the big baby 5 packs of cards, which cost more than a FRIGGEN CD!!!
So, he has begun speaking to me somewhat, things like get me a glass of water, pick up my clothes and if you don’t I will tell dad what you did. In between all of that, I have greatly enjoyed this album, and it was well worth the effort once again.
Well, I gotta go; my son says there is some old woman with a walker wanting to talk to me outside…I wonder??...Nah, it couldn’t be her.
No comments:
Post a Comment